Ethics Mindfulness & Loving Kindness- 6CE

The second part of this course is about implementing Loving Kindness into your massage practice. Loving Kindness is another of Buddha’s greatest teachings.  It is the practice of cultivating a true love of humanity and acting with kindness toward all.  This begins with self love, then expands outward to loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies and finally extends to the entire world.  Here we will focus on acting with loving kindness towards our clients in a healing capacity and even in difficult situations. 

 

 As massage therapists, like most professions, we meet all kinds of people. Some are pleasant and some are less than amicable. There are daily tests that bring moments of discord, moments of stress, and circumstances which are less than ideal. Unfortunately there isn’t much we can do to change those around us.  The only power we have is to change how we react to those unpleasant people.   Metta or the practice of "Loving Kindness", as its described in English, is a healthy way to handle these difficult experiences.  Both of these words will be used interchangeably throughout this text.  Through the practice of loving kindness we are able to transform into a healer.  Loving kindness is a traditional Buddhist concept. The giving of metta is a fundamental part of Buddhist medicine that has the potential to enhance modern healthcare when utilized. Acting with loving kindness implies acting with compassion toward all beings within the context of awareness and appreciation of life and all that it entails. It is a general Buddhist ethical precept rather than a specific medical concept, but it has a direct and powerful application in health care especially in Massage Therapy.  In many ways this concept  may be seemingly contradictive to what you learned in your traditional ethics classes.  However through professional boundaries can still shine love, understanding and a healing intent.

 

The Dalai Lama was once asked: "What is the essential difference between Buddhist medicine and Western medicine?" He replied that Buddhist physicians must always provide a blessing as part of their diagnostic and treatment protocol. So In addition to providing the therapy (dietetic, herbal, or other remedy such as acupuncture) the physician will also bless the patient quietly or silently with Loving Kindness with an affirmation we will learn later on in this text.

 

“No matter what the circumstances, no matter what kind of tragedy I am facing, I practice compassion. This gives me inner strength and happiness.... I myself you see am the devoted servant of compassion. This is the way I really feel.” -The Dalai Lama

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"May you and all sentient beings sharing this natural world of ours be blessed with peace, happiness, and good health." This, the essence and mantra of loving kindness, reminds us as therapists that our therapy must be safe, reliable, and effective, and that it must be competently administered in full consideration of the special needs and concerns of each client.

 

The practice of loving kindness requires discipline from the therapist. It must be given with: Selflessness, signifying that one must serve others without any expectation of reward outside of the fee-based service agreement(Healing is never about self-interest); Compassion, implying gentle, warm, open, and intelligent communication, empathy & understanding;  and Pure Joy in genuinely wanting good fortune and wellbeing of others. With this powerful intent, the "treatment" that is included in every healing act is comprised of loving kindness, selflessness, compassion, and sympathetic joy. These are among the most unusual and, indeed, the most powerful "medicine" in any preventive or treatment program, because they must be synthesized from within the body, mind, and spirit of the healer. 

 

Let’s talk about selflessness as a massage therapist.  Selflessness does not imply that it is wrong to provide your services for money.  That, in fact, is what makes our work a valid profession.  Here, the term selfless represents a lack of self serving agenda when making decision about client treatment.  For example let’s examine a typical business scenario you may encounter in your massage practice.

 

Imagine you have a client who comes to you for treatment of her sciatica pain. You have explained that often times sciatica is caused by nerve entrapment of the piriformis muscle and your recommended treatment is neuromuscular techniques to the piriformis muscle.  You advise the client that in your experience this problem can be alleviate within 4-6 weeks of treatment.  Your intent is to release the trigger points in the piriformis muscle and reduce the client’s pain.  After the third session, you discover during your treatment, that the piriformis muscle no longer has active trigger points and that is not the source of her pain.  The source of her pain is coming from her SI joint, which in treating is outside of your scope of practice.   You have already set an expectation for the client to return for 1-3 more sessions. That means $180 in session fees for you as the therapist.   Being selfless requires that you do not make your decisions based upon potential monetary reward, but do what is best for the client.  In this case a referral to a physical therapist or chiropractor.

 

Compassion is a given in the therapy room.  Its probably the single most important quality we need to possess to be effective at healing others pain.  Having empathy for others suffering and the desire to alleviate it is likely what drew many of us into the profession.  While clinical professional boundaries are very important in massage, we sometimes overcompensate. Too much focus of rigid professional boundaries can often eat away at this important healing trait.  A therapist that is a friend of mine had this recent experience:

 

John was at lunch when he received a phone call from a prospective new client trying to schedule a same day appointment for a friend.  He had an hour available that afternoon, so he scheduled the appointment and headed back to his office.  When the client arrived, the friend who had called to schedule the appointment was with her and was helping her fill out her paperwork.  John noticed the client looked visibly distressed, but carried on as usual.  When he took the client back in the treatment room, he asked her, what was wrong.  It was apparent that it was more than the common back ache, that brought her to see him that day.  Reluctantly she confessed that only four days ago her husband suddenly died at the age of 53.  No warning, seemingly without reason.  She was in a profound state of grief.  As a therapist of 17 years, John knew that his role in this situation was to provide her comfort and compassion.  When he stepped out to wash his hands, his eyes welled up with tears. He worked hard to maintain his composure, so that he could provide her with the comfort that she needed.  After the session, her friend was waiting for her patiently in the lobby.  The woman handed John her credit card to pay for her friend’s massage.  John looked at her and said, “Its against the law (his law) to profit from the mourning of a grieving widow.” Because of his compassion, he felt compelled to do this for her.  This was a true act of loving kindness. 

 

The Pure Joy described here is a true and genuine desire for the best interest and wellbeing of others.  With our clients we often exercise this and celebrate when a client finishes their treatments or are pain free.  We have effectively done our job and the client feels better! 

 

As therapists many of our clients have been seeing us for years.  Especially once clients get older, they tend to have several problems you can slowly work on over time.  You get used to seeing them come in for an appointment each week or each month.  You ask, “what do we need to work on today?” each time they visit.  I had a client like this for years.  She was part of my life and part of my practice.  Sometimes we would work on her neck and shoulder which bothered her for quite some times, and sometimes she was stressed and needed a little relaxation, but either way, she always came in for her massage.  One day she called to cancel her upcoming appointment, when I asked her why, she replied, “Nothing hurts anymore.  I feel great. I guess I don’t need to come so often anymore.”  She pushed her appointment back a few weeks, and slowly over time, I would see her once a month, and eventually once every few months.  The reason I included this story is because when she first told me she didn’t need to visit as often, rather than being genuinely happy for her health and well being, I was worried about me. I was more concerned about money than her overall health.  Once I realized this I acknowledged it without judgment, then actively pursued changing it through focus on the loving kindness meditation. Now I can say I truly experience joy when I do not see her for months, because I know that it means she is healthy and happy.